In all honesty, the success of any long distance relationship boils down to four factors: Love, Trust, Resolve and a concrete Plan. I believe that the absence of any of these factors could contribute heavily to the end of the relationship as well as some feelings of resentment, loss of self-worth, anxiety, and even depression on the part of one or both partners.
Unique relationships such as this usually call for some measure of sacrifice (e.g., having to leave the security of family and friends, changing jobs or lifestyle, move to a different country or state), as the ultimate goal should be to bring both lovers together for an indefinite period of time. Oftentimes, one partner is called upon to make a greater sacrifice that he or she may not be ready to commit to because of its enormity and that it is filled with unparalleled uncertainty. That said, couples may find themselves setting aside these tough decision and simply be contented with “what they have now.”
There in lies the problem as no definite timetable or concrete plan leaves you only in the moment. So, what’s next? Where do you go from here? Why are you in this relationship in the first place?
Questions that will eventually have to be answered…or maybe in your heart you’ve known the answer all along but just haven’t mustered the courage to embrace it.
If you are having trouble reaching a decision regarding your long distance relationship or would just like to have some personal clarity on the matter, here are five questions that you can reflect on:
- Are you ‘in love’ or ‘in love with the idea of being in love?’
- If your have arguments (or course you do), how are they normally resolved? Was it truly resolved or did you just set it aside?
- Was there ever a time that you didn’t have your ‘best foot forward?’ How did that turn out?
- Would you consider yourself the type of person who changes people for the better?
- How do you deal with regret?
Good luck guys! Do this and it is my sincerest hope that it will be workable.
If you would like to set an appointment, you can reach Dr. Villasor at the Makati Medical Center trunk line number: 888-8999 (Local 2357) or through their direct line: 844-2941.
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